Focus on the Verbs!
By Dalya F. Massachi
As a jobseeker, you probably already know that you need to include plenty of strong verbs in your application materials.
After all, verbs drive the English language. They show action, movement, feeling, drama. They bring ordinary scenes or descriptions to life. If you hide or ignore them, you are likely to end up with a boring, lifeless snoozer of a piece. And that can spell disaster for your resume, cover letter, writing samples, etc. (And for that matter, once you land the job, you want your writing to continue to stand out.)
Here are my top three ways to highlight the verbs in your writing and make them work for you:
#1: Choose verbs in the active voice and avoid passive ones.
Passive verbs are just that: they indicate a passive state of affairs, with not much action or movement. They forget about the subject (who or what is performing the action) and only focus on the object (the recipient of the action). In essence, the actor or character is simply lying there passively–like a wet rag– receiving action but not doing a thing!
One easy way to spot passive verbs is to check for verbs that appear before the word “by.”
Original: “At my previous job, all of the project documentation was written by me.”
Notice how the object here – the project documentation - -steals the spotlight, while the person who did the writing (me) doesn’t even appear until the very end of the sentence.
On the other hand, active verbs indicate what is happening and WHO or WHAT is doing the action. They create a stronger sentence and allow you to describe the situation more powerfully.
In the example above, the active version would be:
Suggested Revision: “At my previous job, I wrote all of the project documentation.”
Here are some other examples of how you can change passive verbs into active verbs and boost your impact:
Original: “The issue will be voted on in California’s 2010 election.”
To highlight the actors in the situation, we would say:
Suggested Revision: “Californians will vote on the issue in the 2010 election.”
In your writing sample, you may be writing about an issue that your organization works on, such as:
Original: “Hundreds of women are abused every minute.”
We can add much more information about the responsible parties, and avoid classifying women as the passive victims, when the sentence becomes:
Suggested Revision: “Romantic partners, friends, relatives, and even strangers
abuse hundreds of women every minute.”
#2: Use vivid verbs.
Replace weak verbs or those that need adverbs with stronger verbs that convey your exact meaning. Try to paint a picture with your words so your readers can “see” the scene in their mind’s eye. If you replace everyday verbs with extraordinary ones, your sentences will sparkle.
Original: “I participated in several linter-departmental meetings per month.”
While the sentence may be accurate, it lacks detail. Your reader has no way of knowing what “participated” really means. Let’s try strengthening the verb a bit:
Suggested Revision: “I planned, facilitated, and reported on several inter-departmental meetings per month.”
Watch out for the many non-vivid conjugations of the verb “to be”: is, are, was, were, will be, etc. To help eliminate them, focus on a few specific, outstanding details. For example:
Original: The organization’s events were more popular than they were two years ago.
Let’s liven up that verb with some specifics:
Suggested Revision: The organization’s events attracted twice as many enthusiastic participants this year as they did two years ago.
#3: Tease out the main verb.
Often, a verb finds a comfy hiding place in a long phrase and ends up diluting the sentence. To avoid this fate, try using a single word as a verb instead of a wordy phrase that contains one or more verbs.
Prime suspects for offending words often follow forms of to
give, have, make, do, provide, perform or take. Too often, we writers “give an explanation” instead of “explain,” and “make a choice” instead of “choose.” It’s a nasty habit that suffocates our good friends: healthy verbs.
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Got a question about writing in the nonprofit job market? Just want to check in about your experiences? I would love to hear what you have to say! Submit a “comment” on the bottom of this page and let’s get a dialogue going…
PS: Check out the comments o my March 2008 Writer’s Block column. You will probably be interested in the information we exchanged.
Dalya F. Massachi specializes in helping nonprofit professionals advance
their missions through outstanding written materials. She has worked with
community-minded organizations for more than 15 years: authoring countless
successful marketing pieces, articles, and grant proposals; teaching popular
writing workshops; and coaching professionals one-on-one.
Download her free tip sheets and subscribe to her free e-newsletter at:
http://www.dfmassachi.net
dalya@dfmassachi.net
NOTE:For many more writing tips, check out my forthcoming book, Writing to Make a Difference: 25 Powerful Techniques to Boost Your Community Impact. If you pre-order right now, you will get a pre-publication discount of 15% at:http://www.dfmassachi.net/wmd.html
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