5 Most Successful Tips For Successful Negotiating
By Laura Fredricks
1. Know exactly what you want
“Honey I’d like you to help out more;” “This store has the worst customer service; “I am one of the best people in this department;” are not examples of knowing what you want. If you know you want your significant other to cook dinner 3 times a week while your in graduate school/looking for a job/traveling; if you want the sales help to answer why they do not have what they advertise in the store; or if you would like to get a 15 % raise because your performance merits an increase - THEN you know exactly what you want.
2. Determine what is negotiable and what is not negotiable
Take a piece of paper - on the left side list what will you absolutely not give up…on the right side list what are the things you “may” concede. For instance, if you want a raise, on the left side you may have that you will not take anything less than a 15% increase. On the right, you may put that you get to work from home 1 day a week; get more vacation time; and a 10 % increase with the right to review your performance in six months with the idea that with agreed upon criteria - you’ll be at the 15% increase
3. Anticipate and write down every possible reaction
SO many people skip this step and you will not have the winning advantage. Step back; put yourself in the other person’s head, what will they say when you ask them? If you want your best friend to pay more attention or to be more sensitive to what is going on for you, your list of things may be: He will say he is ALWAYS here for me; she will say I don’t let her in enough; he will make excuses as he always has that I’m too needy. Ok so now you know what is coming your way so Neutralize their best response and get it right out in the open first. Say: “I know you think I’m needy right now and maybe I am. But right now I could really use a close friend to listen to me. I don’t promise this will be easy for you but it is something I am ASKING for and need right now. Can you do this for me?”
4. Make this a CONVERSATION not a CONFRONTATION
Don’t be so focused on “if you get it or not.” If you do I promise your disappointment is on the horizon. This is a conversation you are having about what you need and deserve not will you get it or not. You are driving the Agenda (exactly what you want); you are Prepared (you have all the anticipated responses) and now are open to hearing their views (which you know already) and are prepared to address their reactions. You know what you will take and what is not negotiable, so armed with this preparation, coupled with a calm and confident attitude, you’re already successful.
5. “No” now does not mean “No” later
Worst case the person says “no”. They did not say “no, I’ll never do it go away and I’ll never speak to you” which is what you think you heard. You won because you asked for it…now the harder part is following up to the “no.” If you are buying a new car and you can’t get the price that you want, say “I understand your position but I really feel my price having researched other dealers and prices, is extremely fair. I’ll wait to hear from you in 1 week before going to another dealer. If I don’t hear from you in one week, I’m going to another dealer but right now I’m sure you need the commission and this is what I’m willing to pay. So I have every expectation that you will call me in one week and you will have your commission and I will have my car at the reasonable price.”
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About the Author
Laura Fredricks is an expert fundraising consultant, international inspirational and motivational speaker, attorney, and best-selling author. She is the owner of her own boutique consulting company, which provides training, coaching, and proven best practices to a select number of nonprofits and businesses, to raise significant money efficiently and effectively from a variety of existing and new sources.
Her best-selling books are “The ASK: How to ASK for Support for your Non Profit Cause; Your Creative Project; and Your Business Venture” - which was just published in January 2010; “The Ask: How to Ask Anyone for Any Amount for Any Purpose (2006) and “Developing Major Gifts: Turning Small Donors into Big Contributors” (2001).
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Dalya F. Massachi specializes in helping nonprofit professionals advance their missions through outstanding fundraising and marketing materials – online and offline. A lifelong writer, Dalya’s first Letter to the Editor was published in her hometown newspaper before she was even a teenager. For nearly 20 years, Dalya has worked professionally with community-oriented organizations as a sought-after trainer, writing coach, grantwriter, journalist, and organizer. She has crafted countless successful marketing pieces, grant proposals, and news articles. Dalya’s award-winning book, entitled “Writing to Make a Difference: 25 Powerful Techniques to Boost Your Community Impact,” is available at a special discount for OK readers (http://bit.ly/kna7RA). Her website and free tip sheets and e-newsletter are at: 
