Who Wants to Listen?
By Chelle Shell
Instead of listing out a multitude of unattainable New Year’s Resolutions I’ve decided there is one thing we can do that would benefit us all. We can be better listeners! This, for me, is not going to be any easy task.
Communication, by definition, is a process in which you convey a message. If the message is carried clearly and precisely by the sender, and the receiver clearly understands the message being sent then it becomes successful and effective communication. Social psychologists believe there is 50% to 70% loss of meaning while conveying the messages from a sender to a receiver and much of this is due to ineffective listening.
Below are some tips we can apply on a daily basis to will help us achieve this goal.
You can’t talk and listen at the same time. I struggle not to interrupt, as well as not to finish the sender’s sentence. This isn’t because I have a type A personality, which I do, but because I’m worried I’ll forget my point. What I need to remember is that MY point isn’t in the spotlight at the moment. I need to focus less on what I think I have to say and more on what the sender is communicating. Silence, in this case, speaks louder than words.
When it’s your turn, ask thoughtful questions. Great listeners usually have great questions, without interrupting the sender. When there is a pause in the conversation or when the sender asks for your thoughts, repeat back what you’ve heard them say. Then ask a question(s) that may help them to dive a little further into the topic at hand.
Step away from the mobile device! Nothing screams disrespect or lack of interest than a conversation interrupted by a phone call, a text message, an email or an IM. If you are serious about being a better listener, and/or don’t want to come across as being a jack-ass then put down the mobile devices during a conversation. I have several friends and colleagues who are habitual offenders of this rule (yes, you know who you are) and it drives me to drink!
Encourage your co-workers and/or staff to really talk with one another and to really listen as well. Effective listening at work should always be encouraged. If employees can establish strong relationships with each other, it’s going to benefit the organization. Those who think that employees who socialize and mingle too much may be conspiring are dead wrong and may need to figure out why s/he is paranoid. Good, healthy conversations, hearing out one another, sharing ideas, working together as a team and lending a helping hand will go a long way in making a successful organization and work staff.
If you’re “the boss” don’t push unmeaningful conversations or chit-chat. Not all employees are comfortable making small talk with their boss. Let them befriend each other and care for one another much like siblings behave in a family. This helps with team building and boosts morale among teammates. You don’t always have to be “in the know”.
Listening for me is definitely the most difficult part of the communication process but if I consciously follow these tips I think it will allow me to be a better colleague, a better manager, and better over-all person in general.
Do you have any tips to add or stories to about an unmindful listener? We encourage and welcome your comments.
About the Author
Michelle “Chelle” Shell has worked in management for over 14 years in positions ranging from recruitment to public relations. In her current role as Client Development Manager for Opportunity Knocks she assists national nonprofit organizations and recruitment agencies connect with talented, qualified nonprofit professionals and HR management solutions. Chelle is active in her transitioning neighborhood association as well as local tennis associations. She is also a Board Member of ANP, Atlanta Nonprofit Professionals.
