Most Creative Ways to Call in Sick

Below are entries from our Most Creative Ways to Call in Sick submissions.

• My dog ate my tax return.
  
  
• Received my bonus check and don’t need to work anymore
  
  
• My rubber ducky drowned and I’m planning the services
  
  
• My TomTom took me to another state
  
  
• Dog pooped on my car
  
  
• I do not feel that I should spread what I have around the office, it would be bad for everyone if I came in.
  
  
• I was exposed to organophosphates at work yesterday and my cholinesterase level is depressed.
  
  
• I lost badly at the poker table last night and now there are three guys looking for me. –There’s an SUV parked in my living room this morning, and I’m waiting for my insurance agent to show up and the driver to come back. –I’m too upset about what happened on [Name your favorite TV show] last night and just can’t make it in today. –A fire hydrant blew up in front of my house and now there’s water everywhere inside. (THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED, HOWEVER)
  
  
• The engine light came on while driving my car home after work. The dealer said they can look at it tomorrow late morning so I will not be coming in tomorrow.
  
  
• The glass shower door exploded, I am naked, covered in shards and cannot walk out of the bathroom until my husband comes home to carry me out.
  
  
• A familty of beavors built a nest in my air conditioning unit and I’m waiting for the repair man to come and evict them from thier new home and fix my unit!
  
  
• The train had a flat.
  
  
• I thought it was a dream that I walked to a greyhound station, bought a ticket and boarded a bus, but it was